Elena Santarelli was the seventh new conductor of Hyenas and joined Nicola Savino and Gialappa’s Band in the tenth episode of the show, which aired on November 16.
He offered the audience a monologue that is impossible to resist without crying, especially if you are a mother but also if you are a woman and even if you are a human being. Elena herself could not resist without crying: her liberating outburst has as its protagonist a voice broken by emotion. Behind which hides a woman broken by the greatest monster that exists: the tumor of a child.
But to that unspeakable monster that the TV presenter, actress, showgirl and former model managed to defeat, since fortunately her baby is healed, another monster has been added: the lack of solidarity and empathy of others.
Santarelli has cleared a taboo, that of the sense of guilt of a mother who during and after her son’s illness takes a little space for herself or tries to go back to life. A sense of guilt that is supported by the glances and whispers of others, of those who judge her by seeing her at the hairdresser without even knowing what they are talking about. Because if someone knew what’s behind it, they would never allow themselves to open their mouths, especially to let out vitriolic words.
Elena Santarelli then spoke of another sense of guilt, the one she felt towards the other mothers she met in the hospital during the treatment of their son who unfortunately did not have the same luck, losing their own due to the disease.
But to understand how only empathy is the cure for the evil we have inside, that hatred that comes from who knows where, and to also understand that anyone who has gone through the ordeal that Elena and her baby had to face would never open their mouth to blame , just think that the mothers of those who unfortunately did not make it are those who helped her the most, encouraging her not to be ashamed of the luck she had.
“There is another thing that prevents you from returning to live. It is the guilt for the luck you had. Because so many friends I met in the hospital, mothers like me, no longer have their children today. And that luck I felt I didn’t deserve more than them. So I tried to hide my happiness. But those mothers told me: ‘You don’t have to be ashamed’. And it is only thanks to them, Valeria, Elena and Valentina, who did not condemn me but were close to me, that I was able to return to live all my emotions and I finally freed myself “, these are some of the words of Elena’s monologue. Santarelli. Monologue that we report in full at the end of this article.
The judgments of hater and those who blame that make you feel “dirty”
Elena Santarelli begins by saying that she does not want to talk about her son’s illness but about how to return to life, both during and after the illness.
“I am ashamed to do it. I have heard words that have made me feel dirty. Like: ‘But how do you leave your child alone?’ I was ashamed to go back to work, to go out to dinner with my husband. Even going to the hairdresser when I heard another woman whisper: ‘What the fuck is Santarelli doing here? I would stay at home with a sick child. ‘ And I would go home there. I immediately threw myself in the shower, to cleanse myself of the dirt that those looks had stuck on me. ‘You suck’, I said to myself, ‘what did you think of?’. I scratched off the enamel I had just put on my nails, because I felt bad having taken a piece of life for myself ”, says Elena Santarelli in a voice broken by unmanageable emotion.
“Those looks, those words tell you that there is only one place you can stay: next to your child who is still being treated. Those looks forbid you to be other than the disease, ”he continued.
Only those who go through all of this can fully understand the words of this mother. Therefore, hoping never to be able to fully understand them, we must always try in every way and by every means at least to be empathetic. Empathy is knowing how to identify oneself in the shoes of others, trying to imagine what a person feels and therefore managing in this way not to judge in a superficial and almost always highly harmful way.
“Today I am grateful that my men, Giacomo and Bernardo, are with me. And I’m grateful I learned this lesson, one of the few I can teach my female friends: don’t feel dirty, don’t feel guilty. I felt like a wrong mother, but I don’t want to do it anymore. And don’t do it either. Don’t be afraid to come back to life ”.
The whole monologue
“Tonight I’m not talking about my son’s illness. But how to get back to life. During and after the illness. I was ashamed of doing it. I heard words that made me feel dirty. Like:” But how do you do it. leave your son alone? “I was ashamed to go back to work, to go out to dinner with my husband. Even to go to the hairdresser when I heard another woman whisper:” What the fuck is Santarelli doing here? with a sick child I would stay at home. “And I would go home. I would jump straight into the shower, to cleanse myself of the dirt that those looks had stuck on me.” You suck, “I said to myself,” what did you think? “I scratched off the nail polish I had just put on my nails, because I felt bad having taken a piece of life for myself. Those looks, those words tell you that there is only one place where you can be: next to your son who he is still healing. Those looks forbid you to be anything other than the disease. There is one more thing that imposes on you he plans to live again. It is the guilt for the luck you had. Because so many friends I met in the hospital, mothers like me, no longer have their children today. And that luck I felt I didn’t deserve more than them. So I tried to hide my happiness. But those mothers told me: “You don’t have to be ashamed.” And it is only thanks to them, Valeria, Elena and Valentina, who did not condemn me but were close to me, that I was able to go back to living all my emotions and I finally freed myself. Today I am grateful that my men, Giacomo and Bernardo, are with me. And I’m grateful I learned this lesson, one of the few I can teach my female friends: don’t feel dirty, don’t feel guilty. I felt like a wrong mother, but I don’t want to do it anymore. And don’t do it either. Don’t be afraid to go back to life ”, said Elena Santarelli in her monologue a Hyenas.
Impossible not to get excited and if you can’t do it by reading or even more by listening to his words, then the advice is to work on your empathy because you are at fault.
Source-tg24.sky.it